Celebrating Farmers in Previous Union Suit Fan Postings.

This posting is the third in my series, Down On The Farm.

In looking back through the annals of Union Suit Fan, the year 2019 must in a way have been my year for recognizing my forefathers because I posted several farmers in Union Suit stories with photographs. It's what they wore. Yours probably did too. I doubt any of my grandma's wore union suits like my grandpa's and I did, so this about hardworking men and the underwear they wore.

Continuing over the next few weeks, I'll feature more new and several previously posted favorite farmer stories like the following one from a guest contributor, posted in Union Suit Fan, January 15, 2019. Remember?

The first one that year came from Colorado Conrad, a great story teller.....

Grandpa Gets Kidnapped In His Underwear!

          By Guest Contributor, Conrad of Ft. Collins, Colorado

Although he didn't think it funny at the time, grandpa always got a big kick relating his shivaree escapade. We grandkids loved this story. Grandpa and grandma were married in February, 1925. They didn't have enough money for a honeymoon. So, after their wedding at a little country church, they went home to a small one bedroom rental house on a farm near Grand Island, Nebraska to start their life together. They were third generation farmers; agriculture would be their life.

Late that Saturday night they were awakened by raucous, noisy family members and friends, yelling, singing and beating on pots and pans. This friendly mob marched around the matrimonial house, knocking on the windows, generally raising cane... it was a shivaree! This celebratory behavior on a couple's wedding night was common in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Homes didn't have door locks back then and no one would have a key if they did. After about twenty minutes, grandpa's three older brothers barged into the couple's simple abode and headed for their bedroom. Since he was but a skinny, nineteen year old boy at the time, grandpa was not much of a problem for his bigger brothers.

They dragged grandpa out of bed even though he struggled mightily, pushing and pulling him out of the house in his long underwear. Like all men and boys of his time, he wore the common one-piece union suit which buttoned up the front and featured a drop seat in back. He told us years later that he tried to grab his overalls on the way out but his brothers prevented him from doing so. Outside, the older boys hoisted him up on their shoulders and carried him barefoot and in his underwear around the yard in front of about thirty of his guests, everyone cheering and singing the whole time except for grandpa, that is. He saw nothing to cheer about. Grandma in her nightgown watched the shenanigans from the front window.

One brother broke off from the party, re-entered the house, and grabbed grandpa's boots but not his clothes. Back outside he shoved the boots on grandpa's feet. The boys then loaded him into their truck and all climbed in. The three big brothers and their skinny, shivering "prisoner" drove off to Grand Island. Once they got to town they marched the poor, tired boy up and down main street in his union suit.

Quite a crowd of onlookers had gathered by this time enjoying the show. Soon the town police officers came driving up in their patrol car, red lights flashing. With a dramatic flare they tapped their siren. These men meant business. One of the officers was the boys' cousin. He was in on the joke but grandpa didn't know that at the time. Cousin Omer asked grandpa why he was running around town in his underwear. Grandpa's brothers melted into the crowd as he tried to explain that he had been kidnapped from bed by his ornery brothers on his wedding night, was not allowed to get dressed, and had been paraded up and down the street for the past hour in his long johns.

If Omer had been just any other cop, he would have recognized a shivaree when he saw one and let grandpa go. But no, it was too much fun to see his young cousin standing there stammering in his union suit in downtown Grand Island.

This cop said with a straight face that he couldn't have citizens loitering in public in their long underwear. He would have to take him in. Since they were cousins, Omer told grandpa if he behaved he would not place him in handcuffs. In disbelief grandpa ceased his protestations and, still in his union suit, quietly allowed himself to be led through the crowd to the police car.

Arriving at the police station, Omer had grandpa sit down on a bench in the front room rather than escorting him back to the overnight jail cells. He would be booked for disorderly conduct. Since it was a busy Saturday night, this process would take awhile. For a couple of hours, grandpa sat there red-faced in his long underwear. Officers and offenders walked in and out looking at the forlorn kid stationed there on his wedding night away from his young wife.

Finally, Cousin Omer took pity on the poor, dejected boy, loaded him back up in his car and drove him home exhausted, back to grandma.

                                         My grandpa in his union suit.

                           

What a story, a true classic. Thanks, Conrad... Chris

The Magical, Mystical, Mischievous Scarecrow!

                                                                   Chapter One       

Once upon a time, a farmer's wife and their two boys created a scarecrow to ward off "evil spirits" that appeared in bird form, plaguing their farm. The boys made the scarecrow's face from an old pie plate using bottle caps for his eyes, nose and crooked almost sneering mouth. Their mother's black yarn was used for his hair. When the face was completed, something about the eyes were, well, alarming. Hmmmmm....

The farmer's wife fashioned clothes for the scarecrow out of one of her husband's old red flannel union suits.

With misgivings, the boys and the farmer's wife looked upon their creation which now had a pie plate face and an old suit of the farmer's long red flannel winter underwear. They decided straight away, this bright red ragamuffin would surely frighten away the evil birds that were destroying their field crops and garden. 

Yet, there was something about the crooked smile of his. And, those eyes! Especially, those haunting, alarming scarecrow eyes.

                                                     

                                          Chapter Two

A few days passed and all was well. The scarecrow in the old suit of long red flannel winter underwear was erected just so, in a place where the birds who had flocked together, feasting upon whatever they pleased from the farmer's wife's vegetable garden and the crops so carefully planted. They soon dispersed, one by one, until not a one could be seen for miles.

Yet, something was amiss. The anxious farmer couldn't quite place his finger on it. Perplexed, he checked on the scarecrow every day. It was true, no birds were present. But the scarecrow seemed different somehow. Sinister perhaps? What was it?

The farmer could not help but feel uneasy as he looked deep into the eyes of the scarecrow who stood there stoically, wearing that old suit of long red flannel winter underwear.

He decided to move the scarecrow, whom he had grown to distrust, out next to the road. He'd be farther away from the house, his wife's garden and certainly out and away from where his young boys played. It would seem safer there. 

So, the scarecrow was moved and from that day forward stood forlornly, day after day, next to the road, dressed in the farmer's old suit of long red flannel winter underwear. 

 

                                                              Chapter Three

Several days later, the farmer walked back to the road to check on his scarecrow. There it stood next to the country road wearing the farmer's union suit, long red flannel winter underwear. None of the evil, distructive birds had returned. All seemed fine. But, something continued to weigh on the farmer's mind. But, just what?

Something about those deeply set eyes. They seemed to boar right through him. He felt almost hypnotized, not exactly in control. Finally, with some effort, he was able to draw his face away from the scarecrow's eyes. What a relief.

  

But before the farmer was able walk away and get back to his work, the scarecrow blinked those ominous eyes three times! Unbeknownst to the farmer, with each blink of the scarecrow's menacing eyes, his clothes began to vanish! 

  

Upon the first blink, the farmer's shirt and spectacles disappeared! The second blink, his britches, gone! And with the third blink, his boots were dispatched from his feet!

Little did the farmer suspect he was standing there by the side of the road wearing nothing but his suit of long red flannel winter underwear. But there he was, side by side, next to his wife and boys' scarecrow, a creature still itself clad in only the farmer's long johns, an old suit of long red flannel winter underwear!

What a sight they made! Not one but now two standing by the side of the road in suits of long red flannel winter underwear. 

The farmer was unaware he stood there in his underwear! The scarecrow had decided if he were required to stand there all day and night by the side of the country road wearing nothing but the farmer's old suit of long red flannel winter underwear, then so too should the farmer. It was only fair and certainly an appropriate response. Basically, only a harmless joke on the country man.                                           

Before the farmer realized that he was standing there next to the scarecrow on the country road without clothes, wearing only his suit of long red flannel winter underwear, the scarecrow blinked three times more and the farmer was once again fully clothed. He was back to wearing his shirt, spectacles and britches. And his feet were secure in boots.

Shrugging, the farmer left, returning to his fields with no knowledge of the joke played upon him. He was convinced that the scarecrow was doing the job he was created to perform. There were no birds anywhere. His crops were safe. His wife's garden was growing without incident. 

Still, he felt uncertainty any time he was near his scarecrow.

 

                                                                Chapter Four

Two days later, the farmer once again wandered over to the country road to check on his scarecrow who was wearing that old suit of long red flannel winter underwear. Perhaps the birds had returned, having flown back to his farm, feasting on his wife's garden or maybe bothering his boys. 

Just then a neighbor with his son were returning from town in their old Ford pickup truck. As they pulled up to greet the farmer, they noticed the scarecrow standing by the side of the country road, dressed in an old suit of long red flannel winter underwear. The boy laughed out loud at the site of the unusually dressed scarecrow.

As the truck came grinding to a stop and before the neighbor could even utter a "hello," the scarecrow blinked three times, leaving the farmer devoid of all his clothes and standing there himself in a suit of long red flannel winter underwear! The neighbor good not believe his eyes as his boy laughed even harder.

"How do you like my new scarecrow, Raymond? My wife and boys created him using a pie plate, buttons and yarn for his hair, and dressing him in one of my old suits of long red flannel winter underwear. He's scared away all the birds from here and has saved our garden and crops."

"That's well and good," ventured Raymond as his son did his best to curb his amusement. 

"But, Hiram," the neighbor added in earnest, "he scared away more than those birds you're complaining about. Looks to me like he also scared the pants right off of you. I must say, you surely look foolish standing out here in broad daylight in front of any passersby, wearing only your long red flannel union suit! Where in heaven's name are your clothes?"

"What in tarnation are you talking about, Raymond? Can't you tell the difference betweem me and this here scarecrow? It's the strawman that's out here by the side of the road, dressed in my old suit of long red flannel winter underwear scaring away the birds, for gosh sakes! Not me!" 

"Uh, no sir....you AND your scarecrow are both standing right here by the road with nothing on but your suits of long red flannel winter underwear," the neighbor retorted, laughing heartedly now with this boy, "And that's the lord's truth!"  

With that, the farmer looked over at the scarecrow who was indeed wearing the suit of the farmer's own long red flannel winter underwear which his wife had dressed him in. Just as he expected. 

But then, he looked down at himself and for the first time realized it was true just as his neighbor had proclaimed. 

He was actually standing by the side of the road in nothing but his suit of long red flannel winter underwear for the world to see! Where were his britches and shirt? He couldn't see as well as a few minutes ago. Maybe he was imagining standing there in his union suit. Reaching up to re-adjust his spectacles, he realized they were gone too!

At that moment the farmer's face turned as red as his union suit. The sheer weight of the moment with him out and about in his underwear finally dawned on him. He really was standing there without clothes before his neighbor and boy and any other neighbors who might happen by.  

                                    Chapter Five

Oh my, Hiram could scarcely believe he had been duped with the blink of an eye, a scarecrow's eye. A malicious eye, had tricked him into appearing by the side of the country road wearing nothing but his suit of long red flannel winter underwear. And by a scarecrow none-the-less who had a pie plate for a face, deep set eyes and who had been conjured up by his wife and boys, dressing him in one of the farmer's suits of old long red flannel winter underwear.

But as Raymond and his boy drove away, continually laughing at their ridiculous neighbor dressed only his union suit, the farmer had to reluctantly admire the magical, mystical, mischevious scarecrow who had pranked the pants off of him! He decided his scarecrow, standing by the country road wearing his old suit of long red flannel winter underwear, wasn't sinister afterall. He was nothing more than a jester, dressed in red. 

Perhaps, the scarecrow was a little sneaky, played practical jokes and had very unusual eyes. But, he was mostly fun-loving and was certainly keeping every single bird at bay. And so, the farmer decided to keep him around. He realized he wasn't a danger to his boys and was really not that much trouble. The farmer picked him up and away from the country road and placed him within his wife's garden, wearing that old suit of long red flannel winter underwear. 

From that day forward, the farmer was prepared to have his clothes blinked off anytime he was in the vacinity of the scarecrow. He accepted the fact that he possibly could be standing there for all the world to see in his long red flannel winter underwear! 

But, that was the price he was willing to pay in order to keep away those pesky, destructive birds.  

                                                                                    The End

                                                                    

This posting is the second in the series, Down On The Farm.

 Farmers are Union Suit Fans 

        This posting was the first in the series, Down On The Farm.... 

My two granddads and my two great granddads and, I suppose, their dads, midwest farmers all, wore union suits while they farmed, six days a week, and wore them to church on Sundays. A couple of them wore their union suits seven days a week, year round. Then after their baths on Saturday night changed their underwear.  It's been a farmer thing for a century and a half to wear warm, comfortable one-piece, long underwear.  My dad and uncles, as boys, grew up on farms and, you guessed it, wore union suits. 

From them, I've come to love union suits, happily having worn them as long as I can remember. And, I'm not even a farmer. But, farming runs deep in my blood as does my inclination to wear their style of long johns!

Clem recently sent along a photo and story of a modern day farmer who, like my ancestors and me, chooses to wear union suits. Sometimes, apparently, that is all he wears as he, well, farms....

The caption reads:  

Farmer Brian sometimes works in the field wearing just his union suit or long johns. He was brought up to wear long underwear from November 1st to May 1st. He adjusts his outer wear to fit the actual temperature. That's thinking outside the box.

Over the years, several of you union suit fans have sent me your union suit wearing stories and photos, having grown up on farms, which I have posted in this blog. 

All the best, Unionsuiters, Chris

Comfortable Remodeling 

When Buckeye Mike decided his home needed some updating, he decided to get right to work. No time like the present...but why wear bulky clothes to do the planned transformation when comfortable, one-piece long underwear would be better suited (pun intended) for working in. 

So, when it was time to get to work on the interior of his home, he planned to strip to his union suit and get busy.

But first things first for this early riser. A cup or two of coffee before starting his major project was just the ticket:

Only then he was ready to start stripping, scraping and sanding his first room....

First thing he knew, the hours flew by, the sunset and it was time to quit for the evening. Day two rolled around and, continuing the remodelling efforts, found Buckeye up on a step stool, having changed union suits: 

 

Day three catches him deciding again to strip off his clothes to strip further the walls in his 100 year old home... 

 

...so caught with his pants down, 'er off, Buckeye was (un)dressed for work. 

This time in loose, comfortable bright red long handles: 

Will this D#@% job ever be finished??!!

Well, not yet; another day, another union suit, working now on a door frame: 

 

And later that week, another change of underwear when time to hit this window..... 

 

Time will tell if Buckeye gets this job done? It's possible he might have bitten off more than he could chew? Yet, he's about the hardest working man I've ever had the pleasure to know. We'll see.

Union Suit Fans, when you have that tough job around the house or any job really, do what Buckeye recommends....get comfortable. And what brings more comfort to a unon suit fan than a good ole union suit.

Record your work in photos as he does and send c/o Buckeye to Union Suit Fan at cayersnd@gmail.com

Coming next week a look at fall: 

Down on the Farm, a new series.

Don't miss it.

Oh, and don't trust Scarecrows!

Just ask the crows.

Road Tripping in South Dakota 

For Charles, a perfect autumn day means pulling on the layers from long johns to leather and hitting the road to rediscover the beauty of Dakota's color and fresh air! 

A stop for a refreshment is a must:   

 

Wearing a union suit ensures a comfortable ride:

Arriving home, means covering up his beloved Hog until the next ride:

and a quick trip out to the deck for some logs to build a warm, crackling fire: 

Ahhh, that warm union suit, a hot drink and fire tops off the trip! 

Thanks for sharing your adventure, Charles. 

Its that time of year to join Charles and me by turning up the thermostat, building a cozy fire and pulling on your warm, comforatable union suit. 

Have a great "long underwear" season, Union Suit Fans! Charles and I plan to.