A
Very Forgetful Boy
Once
there was a forgetful boy, a very forgetful boy. It was not unusual
for him to run out of his house early morning and race to the bus
stop without his lunch bag. Occasionally, he would forget his belt
and had to hold his pants up with one hand all day long. One time the
boy ran out of the house and was half way down the sidewalk in the
rain before he realized he had no shoes on. His socks were soaked
before he could turn around and run back to his room to change them.
In school he would have invariably forgotten a text book or two, maybe
pencils and, of course, his homework now and then. Participating in boy scout camp
outs he would frequently forget his sleeping bag, or his jacket, maybe a flashlight or change of underwear. At other times he would forget to take his
bible to Sunday school.
His
mom, dad, teachers, and scout master were regularly exasperated. Pleading, reminders, even threats seemed to have no positive affect on this boy
and his memory. Yet this forgetful boy did very well in his school subjects. He excelled in
mathematics and science and recalled history and geography
details. But as he graduated to high school he remained oh so
forgetful. The boy's mom commented as many moms do about their sons, "if his head were not screwed on tightly
he would forget it as well."
As a high school
sophomore the boy continued getting excellent grades despite being
his forgetful self. During this year he tried out and was
chosen for the school's basketball team. True to form, arriving for practice he
would, on any given day, forget clean socks, on another day his shorts, on another day his jockstrap. He was simply inept at remembering. His
coach grew more and more impatient.
One cold Monday
morning, the boy forgot his entire uniform. He had taken it home to
be washed but left it in the laundry room in his rush to catch the
school bus. Upon arriving at the boys' locker room for
practice, the coach had had enough. "You are not going to play in
your street clothes and shoes," he told the boy. "Today, you'll practice in just your underwear and socks!”
No amount of pleading or promising to do better could change the coach's mind. "Strip and
hit the court," he commanded. And so, the boy did - reluctantly.
It was mid-January so
like other men and boys, his winter underwear consisted of a long-handled union suit. Hanging up his clothes and storing his shoes, he
proceeded to the gym wearing only his long woolen underwear and
socks.
The other boys laughed
heartily at seeing their distressed team mate in his union suit. They chided him with diversionary
comments such as "You forgot to button your flap" and
"Look! His face is as red as his underwear!" Another team
mate chortled, “Wait until the girls see you at our next game in
just your union suit!”
Teenage boys, then as
now, have no mercy. Good nature teasing each other is a favorite past time. Blowing his whistle, the coach finally stopped the
chatter bringing some semblance of order to practice. The
boys were soon concentrating upon basketball rather than the forgetful
boy, ignoring the discomfort of one of their own.
Despite his embarrassment
the boy did his best to persevere on the court, slipping and sliding around the gym
in his socks, sweating in his woolen underwear. Yet he managed to
hit some layups and a couple of hook shots. After a while he thought
no more of having to run around in his underwear.
The hour passed and the
boy returned to the locker room in his soggy union suit. The other
boys continued razzing their unfortunate colleague. But the boy could
give as good as he got. He had composed himself and offered some
zingers of his own. Finally, after the other boys finished showering and dressing, they left
for home tired but exhilarated.
The forgetful boy
promised his coach he would do better to remember. It turned out the boy learned his lesson for he never forgot his
uniform again.
I wish I could tell you
that he became less forgetful from that day forward but some things
never change. The boy became a man and now forgets where he places his car keys, his anniversary date, and the ages of his children.
 |
Solid Jackson appears in his
Long Red Woolen Union Suit
to the Amusement of His Team Mates
and to the Consternation of His Coach |
Special Thanks to The Kilroys, America's Funniest Family!, a popular 1940's comic book family, who featured a boy by the name of Solid Jackson. Solid was a zany friend of the Kilroys' teenage son, Natch. Solid always seemed to find himself in the wackiest of predicaments such as his mom requiring him to wear his long red woolen underwear to his high school basketball games so he wouldn't catch cold. Solid Jackson was the perfect foil to align with my "forgetful boy" story.
The Kilroys stories and art: by Dan Gordon and others. His comic books featured various teen-ager hijinks.
