Boy Scouts' Clothing Shop  

             Guest Contributor, Rhode Island Randall

Chris: several years ago as a young boy scout, our troop would hold a Court of Honor Ceremony two or three times a year. For your readers who don't know, this is a formal awards meeting to recognize scouts' achievements by presenting them with their latest insignias, depicting newly earned rank, and various merit badges. Parents, siblings and guests of each boy were welcomed to these special meetings. We met at a church in the little Rhode Island community where I grew up. At every ceremony, several boys were chosen to perform a skit, usually humorous. Here is one memorable comedy sketch you might enjoy. I did.  

Two boys (a shopkeeper and his assistant) enter from one side of the stage. A third boy enters from the opposite side. The shopkeeper asks the third boy, "Hey would you like to help us open a clothing store and make lots of money?" The boy replies, "Sure!" 

The assistant then pretends to hit him over the head with a club, knocks him out, throws him over his shoulder and proceeds with the unconscious lad out of view (back stage).

The assistant returns just as a fourth boy, a customer, walks in and, after greetings are exchanged, asks to purchase a jacket. The shopkeeper turns to his assistant, saying, "Guido, go get this gentlemen a nice jacket from storage." Guido says, "Yes sir, boss, a nice jacket." 

He hurries offstage and soon a groggy scream is heard "Hey, don't take my jacket!" A scuffle ensues. But then, Guido reappears with a jacket. The customer hands money to the proprietor and leaves with his purchase.

Customer two walks in and asks for a pair of shoes. The scene is repeated as Guido leaves and the boy from the back shouts, “Don’t take my shoes!” After more commotion, the assistant returns with a pair of shoes which are paid for by the happy customer who departs. 

The next customer wants a shirt, the next a hat, and the next customer wants a belt and a pair of socks. The shirt, hat, socks and belt are all grabbed after much shouting and fighting back stage. But Guido always returns with the requested items which are given to the customers. Money is exchanged and the customers leave happily with their clothes' purchases.

Soon, another boy enters and asks for a pair of pants. Guido promptly leaves. Business is good! This time much scuffling is heard in back. Pants are apparently confiscated from the hapless minion with difficulty. More screaming is heard, "Those are my pants! Give me back my pants!” The disheveled assistant returns yet again. This time out of breath but with the pants. The storekeeper hands them to the customer who holds them up waist high. Satisfied, he pays and leaves. 

A final customer enters and asks to buy a suit of long underwear. The boy who has remained off stage has no clothes left except for his underwear. What a coincidence! The proprietor says to Guido, “Go get this gentleman a suit of long underwear!” 

Guido hesitates. The storekeeper sternly says, "You heard the customer. He wants a suit of underwear. Now, please."

"Right away boss," Guido replies. The assistant leaves and soon the boy from in back starts yelling, “Oh no you don't; you can’t take my underwear!” There is heard a major struggle this time and a very loud "not my underwear!" He absolutely refuses the taking of his long underwear and the boy is willing to fight to keep them! 

And suddenly, out from in back, comes a harried boy, wearing only a bright red union suit, chased by an even more out-of-breath assistant storekeeper.  Around and around the stage they run. The boy creating turmoil, continues yelling "no, not my underwear! You can't have my underwear!" By now he's chased, not only by the assistant, but by the proprietor and the customer who wants only to purchase a union suit. 

At last, the screaming boy exits the stage with the other three hot on his tail. Madly, out into the audience they run, around and around, until the barefoot boy in the long underwear spies an escape door and runs out the back of the church!  The End. 

By the way, Chris, I happened to have been the boy whose clothes were confiscated for re-sale! I was one of the younger, skinnier, light weight kids who received his Tenderfoot Badge that night, still in my union suit, if you can belive that! ...Randall

Should any one wish to re-enact this skit, feel free. It only requires about eight or nine energetic boys, plus minimal equipment: a table and a willing boy, plus his jacket, shirt, pants, hat, socks, belt, shoes, and long red underwear. Polka-dotted boxer shorts were initially to be worn by me but that Court of Honor was held in February, so long underwear was much more suited to the winter weather.... RIR.

Thanks, Rhode Island Randall. That must have brought down the house. That's a great story!