We're off to see the Wizard!                 

I'm sure all Union Suit Fan readers are quite familiar with the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz. 

And I'm sure most readers know of the ever popular Wizard of Id. 

But who among you is aware of the lesser known, but equally gifted, Wizard of US? 

After learning that this very wizard resides practically in his own back yard, our Retro Jeff paid him a call, and the Great US graciously agreed to an exclusive interview for USF readers. Enjoy this inside look into the everyday life of a practicing wizard......                                                                      

----US: "Well,thank you Retro Jeff for this opportunity to gain some public exposure and recognition. Brother Oz has been a kind of “poster boy” for our Brotherhood of Wizards ever since that 1939 film he was in.  People need to be aware that there are many more, less flamboyant, work-a-day wizards right here among them.

----RJ:  “So tell me your, uh, wizardship, what is the role of a practicing wizard like in 2025?”           

----US:  “You know, Retro, most people think a wizard's life is all about casting spells, mixing  potions, or conferring, conversing, and otherwise hobnobbing with his brother wizards.  There's a lot more to it.

Sure, we can be called upon for the mundane task of locating a stolen dog,

misplaced slippers,

or, even on odd occasions, a missing farmhouse.

But a wizard today needs to stay up to date and follow current trends in order to keep his public satisfied. Now look at Brother Id. I probably shouldn't say this, but I do feel he's rather stuck in the past. Oh, no offense to you Retro.  But really!  Dragons? And Castles? And Moats?  Oh my!  I mean, when was the last time you saw a dragon?  And who lives in castles anymore?  But I have to say, it still seems to work for him. Hardly a day goes by that he doesn't make the newspapers.”  

----RJ:  “And what about your more famous brother wizard, the Great Oz?  Do you feel he is staying current?”  

----US:  “What can I say?  Oz is Oz.  I really think that Hollywood film years ago gave him a swelled  head. Ever since, he has been intimidating his clients with that excessive display of smoke and flames. I tend to find it rather off-putting but his public must, if not like it, at least endure it. He's still as popular as ever.  I haven't seen them, but I understand there were sequels to the original film. To be fair, I have to say, behind the smoke and flames facade, if you draw back the curtain, you will find Brother Oz to be a truly gifted, highly intelligent and courageous wizard with a  heart of gold.” 

----RJ:  “I understand that you have been gifted with some rather amazing conjuring powers of your own. Would it be possible to see a demonstration that I can photograph and share with the USF readers?”

----US:  “Oh, certainly Retro.  I'd be happy to do that. Let me just look through my requests here for a moment…….. Ah!  Here's one from a Morticia A .....

My!  I dare say that I've never been asked to locate a missing item quite like this before!  Well, it will be a challenge!  Let's have a go at it, Retro. Just keep your camera on the Crystal Ball!

----RJ:  “Wow!  That was impressive, your Wizardship. I'm sure Mrs. A will be thrilled to get that back!  It's such a handy Thing to have around the house.

Now,  tell me about the recent security breaches you've experienced.”       

----US: “Retro, it pains me to discuss this, but the public does not always abide by rules of proper conduct when allowed on to the premises.  At times they have invaded my very inner sanctum! Boy, can Brother Oz tell some stories about that!

When they occur, these breaches must be handled  directly, adroitly, and with as much dignity and aplomb as one can muster under the circumstances!"

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

"Nobody can see the Great US! 
Not nobody, not no how!"

----RJ:  “Ah, yes, I see.  A rather uncomfortable situation for all involved.”

----US:  “Yes Retro, it can be. Very much so....Well, I'm afraid I’m expecting a client in ten minutes. But in closing, I would like to share with the Union Suit Fan readers a valuable piece of advice that I learned the hard way, many years ago, in one of these very situations; KEEP THEM BUTTONED!”    

So ended our interview with those sage words of wisdom from the Wonderful Wizard of US. “Keep them buttoned!”  How profound! Certainly good advice for all Union Suit Fans to live by!

....Retro Jeff in Illinois                                              

The Wizard of US: a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was!

Thank you Retro Jeff for that truly insightful and revealing look into the life of a modern day practicing wizard.  If nothing else, we gained an answer to that age old question: "What do wizards wear under their robes?".....Chris   

 The guest contributor of this exceptional interview is none other than Illinois' own Retro Jeff, 

a veritable Wizard of Union Suits, himself. 

Hmmmm... I wonder.....Nah, it couldn't be!